I often struggle to hear what God is saying to me. There are those who seem to be able to discern his leading and receive pictures or words to hear and determine his way. Although there have been some occasions when I have experienced this, to be honest more often than not I feel as though I am stumbling through the undergrowth longing for the clear wide open space of knowing God's plan.
For several months I have been praying and struggling to hear God and be sure of his leading. Recently one of those rare moments happened and I felt as though God was speaking directly to me. I am passionate about journaling – the action of putting my thoughts, prayers and struggles into writing helps to slow my spirit down and become still. So as I listened to God I wrote what I thought he was saying to me. I share this with you in the hope that you are encouraged. Here goes ... straight from my journal:
... ‘I KNOW the desires of your heart. I KNOW the things you dream of.
I KNOW that your mind is constantly trying to work out how I could possibly give you the desires of your heart. I KNOW that your heart is heavy and that you are filled with sadness and disappointment that I have not yet done what you want so badly. I KNOW all of these things.
Stop striving to try to work things out. Stop planning how things could work out. This is the moment when you must truly understand the words: “Be still, and know that I am God.”
I am not out to hurt you or disappoint you. I am not out to make you sad.
I am here to teach you and to develop your faith and trust in me. For too long you have tried to make things happen yourself, often with good intentions and a desire to please me, but this has not always been in line with my plans for you. That's not to say that I am displeased with you. I have been able to show you that what you thought you wanted and needed were, whilst not bad, not necessarily the best for you.
I want to give you the best. You need to stop all the wondering and planning. You are thinking in human terms and on a human timescale. Your view of how things might happen is limited. You ask me to do something that will take your breath away and then proceed to tell me how I could do that! Your ideas are puny and will not take your breath away. They are manmade solutions that are intended to give you the desires of your heart. Yes – I can do things your way BUT what will you have learned? How will that develop your faith and trust in me? You need to learn to trust me when there seems to be no way of things happening on a human level.
I will not leave you in a time of testing for longer than is necessary. Learn to trust me. Learn to wait my time and when the waiting becomes overwhelming and you feel in despair ... turn to me and simply rest in my arms. Come to me and seek my comfort - hide under the shadow of my wing. At the right time, I will act and quite literally take your breath away with what I will do.
My plans for you are so much more than you could dream or imagine. Wait MY time. BELIEVE that I have everything planned and that I am already ordering things so that when I act you will be amazed at what I am doing.
My child, I KNOW the desires of your heart. I KNOW the dreams of your heart. I love you. “Be still and KNOW that I am God.” ...